Always There
by CheddarFetta
Summary: After Nathan tells Ben the crushing news, Ben faces the fact that he always needs Mel, even if she's gone away. One-shot based on the tragedy and sadness in episode 3.20, 'Perfect Bubble'.


_Hi! :) This is my first Rafters story. Although I've been planning some, after watching last nights episode, I just had to write a story for it. It was soooo sad, but the acting was brilliant, realistic & a good reminder that life's bubbles can pop anytime, unexpectedly, even when you think your life is perfect. I cried so much when I watched Rafters last night._

_I know there are already a few stories up about Mel's death and they're all great, but as soon as I watched the episode last night, I started working on this._

_The lyrics are from the beautiful & moving song 'Always There' and I don't own them, Kate Alexa does. I also don't own Packed to the Rafters._

_Enjoy & please review! :D_

_RIP Mel_

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**Ben's POV**

I heard a knock at the door of our hotel room, so I jumped off the bed to greet my wife, grabbing a red rose from the vase, as I headed towards the door.

I stuck the rose in my mouth and formed my lips into a goofy smile, and when I reached the door, I struck an amusing pose, a pose that I hoped would make my beautiful wife laugh, or at least smile at.

I threw the door open and beamed at... Nathan?

* * *

The second I saw my brother standing at the door with red, tear-stained eyes, fresh tears & wet cheeks, I forgot all about surprising Mel and I was focused on Nathan.

"Nath? What's wrong?" I asked as I stood there puzzled, feeling like I'd just stepped into a parallel universe.

In the time before Nathan answered, my brain was filled with questions.

Why was Nathan here? He knew I wanted a romantic night with Mel.

Why was he crying? I could count on one hand how many times I'd seen my baby brother cry.

Had something happened to Mum or Dad? Ruby or Rach? Carbo or Retta? Jake or Coby? Chel or Grandad?

I never saw what was coming at me.

* * *

"Ben" Nathan's voice choked as he started talking, but more tears stopped him from continuing what he was saying.

"It's Mel. She's gone" Nathan said, saying those four words that stopped my world.

Those four words broke my heart

Those four words stopped my happiness.

Those four words ended my life as I knew it.

_Why was it you I don't understand_

_And nothing shows me why_

_Maybe someday I'll see you again_

_And tell you how much I've missed you_

I stood there at the door and Nathan's tears took over his eyes again as he hugged me.

"I'm so sorry" he said, and choked for breath in between his tears.

As my mind processed what Nathan had said, all I could think was; No, no, no.

This wasn't meant to happen.

Mel was supposed to come home from work; we'd have a great evening together and then spend the day together tomorrow too.

Mel & I were supposed to be parents.

The next time I went to the hospital was supposed to be when I drove Mel to the hospital when she was in labour.

My next thought & hope was that this was all just a dream, but feeling Nathan's wet tears drip onto my shirt crushed that hope too.

I only just thought about how it happened and the fact I never got to say goodbye.

I was never going to see my beautiful wife again.

I was never going to wake up to her smile that made energy, love & happiness flow through me.

Finally I got the courage to ask the question that I knew would crush me even more.

"How?" I asked, as I wiped tears that I didn't even realize had flooded my face.

"She was in a car accident, on her way home from work. She died instantly" Nathan said and choked again from the tears.

This time tears didn't take over me, hurt & sadness took its place instead.

I should've been there for her.

I should've said goodbye.

It should've been me.

* * *

I couldn't see how I was going move on, even though I knew life would go by while I was stuck trying to figure things out.

It felt like my heart had been ripped out, just leaving the body of Ben Rafter.

My heart had gone with Melissa's life.

At least a part of me was still with her.

_Things happen and no one knows why_

_If I'd erased this moment in time_

_If I'd know I'd be by your side _

_If I'd known I would of said goodbye_

_You were always there_

_Even though it seems your far away_

_I miss you more than words _

_I'm missing you more everyday_

_Where are you in my life_

_Where's the song in my heart _

_Where's the peace of my mind _

_And the strength for me to carry on _

A few weeks after Mel's funeral, Carbo & Retta were moving on acting as in love as ever and when I was watching them, they acted like nothing had ever happened... except if I was in the room.

Nathan has been so supportive and good to me since that night.

He was there if I needed someone to talk to – regardless of the hour.

He left me if I needed to be on my own.

He offered me his shoulder when I needed one to cry on.

He said he knew how I felt, and I understood what he meant to a certain extent, but at least Sammy was still alive. I didn't even have the closure of that.

* * *

After many months, I learnt to cherish my life and the amazing memories that I'd made with Mel.

Slowly after many months, getting out of bed became just that little bit easier every day and slowly, I learnt to smile again.

I learnt that even though Mel's gone away, our memories haven't. I have to cherish those memories & hold onto them with both hands, unlike when I let go of her that day to go to work.

_We will all move on _

_And you will always stay in our heart_

_And any minute that passes by_

_We wont let the memory fade away _

_Time will heal a little everyday_

_You were always there_

_Even though it seems your far away _

_I miss you more than words_

_I'm missing you more everyday _

_Where are you in my life_

_Where's the song in my heart _

_Where's the peace of my mind _

_And the strength for me to carry _on

Another stage of moving on, was going back to work. Sitting around the house all day was not going to help me, and Mel would want to move on in life.

My first day back was easy and I don't think anyone expected me to do much. Everyone welcomed me back, gave me their sympathy and they all co-operated with what I said or did. Even Lexi worked for once.

_Then the something's fade to nothing_

_And the reasons gone_

_Life must go on_

_Days will pass by _

_Tears will find happy memories_

To move on, I needed the reminder of my wife and the better times we had.

I needed to see her smiling, even if it was just on a piece of paper.

Even though you're gone, I need you Mel.

I need to know you're always there.

~~End~~

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**I cried while I was writing this. This storyline is just so sad. They were married, in love & trying to start a family and it was all taken away from them tragically. :( **

**I hope you liked it & please review**

**CheddarFetta xx**


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